Feelings
by CuttieGirll57
Summary: Don't know what summary to give this. Just read it and you'll see what it's about.


_**A/N: Yep, finally something from me. I know I haven't updated anything in months, but I promise I will soon.**_

She just lays there, motionless, in the hospital bed. I feel like I'm going to scream, but I've already done that. Twice. I still haven't stopped crying, even though it's been two days. I look at her lifeless face, as even more tears start running down my face. I'm still hoping to wake up and realize it's all just a nightmare. I wish I could have done something to prevent this. I've always been the smart one of the two of us, but that didn't help me see this coming. How could I be so blind?

I should have seen that something was wrong. I should have seen through her act. Now that I think about it, it was almost obvious. She wasn't happy, but she was so good at faking it. Hiding it all with a smile. Maybe she's the smart one after all.

How could I not see it? Her eyes were trying to tell me something. A message that she, at the same time, wanted and didn't want me to see. A message that I didn't pay enough attention to notice. I can't help but feel this is all my fault. I'm her best friend, I'm supposed to know everything about her, even the things she doesn't want me to know.

I should have seen she was depressed. I should have dedicated every single minute of my time to her. Because, according to her, I'm all she has. Sure, she has other friends, but she doesn't really hang out with them. Most of the time, she's either with me or by herself. I never realized how lonely she must feel. Her mother's always busy, her brother hardly spends time with her...All she really has is me.

Then, there are also her secret feelings for me, which are not so secret anymore. I feel so stupid that I've never noticed before. Not once did I suspect her feeling anything other than friendship for me. Big mistake. The worst part is that I feel the same way. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I had confessed sooner. I feel horrible saying this, but I'm the most guilty for her breakdown.

I'm still mentally punching myself for not reading that email faster. Maybe if I hadn't stared at the computer screen like an idiot, I could have arrived in time.

_I was sitting in my room, on my laptop, listening to one of my favorite songs, when an email popped up. I quickly clicked it and started reading. _

_Rocky,_

_I wanted you to be the first one to know this. I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm going to explode if this doesn't end soon. I don't think you understand, so let me explain._

_I'm not the happy, bubbly, ditsy girl you think I am. Nobody really knows me, not even you. I'm in so much pain and I don't even know why. I guess I'm just lonely. My family mostly ignores me and I have no good friends besides you. Rocky, you're the only thing that kept me going. But that's not enough anymore._

_What I really want you to know is that I love you. Not in a best friend kinda way, I really love you. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying and I'm hoping you won't close this message now. I'm sorry, I can't help but feel this way. The fact that you will never love me back is just one of the things that make me feel like I can't take it anymore._

_You always said I'm the stronger one, but that's a lie. I'm much too weak. If I wasn't so weak, maybe I could pick myself up and move on. But I can't._

_So you're the only person who knows how I feel. I wanted it to be like that, because you're the person I care about the most. You've always been the best friend I could ever ask for. I'm sorry I'm letting you down._

_I guess this is it. It felt so good writing all that, finally getting to express my feelings. I guess this is goodbye. Love you forever._

_CeCe_

_It took me a few minutes to process all this. CeCe was depressed. She was lonely. She was in love with me. And she just wanted it all to end. That's when it hit me and I couldn't hold back a gasp. CeCe was going to commit suicide._

_I ran as fast as I could, praying that it wouldn't be too late. I didn't even notice that I was already crying. I entered her home via the fire escape and hurried to her room. With shaking hands, I knocked at the door. Silence. I grew even more worried. It took all my power to slowly open the door._

_All I could do was scream at the scene before my eyes. My best friend was lying on the floor, messy red hair, lifeless chocolate brown eyes, barely open. Blood was pouring out of her right arm while, on her left arm, the words "I'm sorry" were carved. _

_As I kept screaming uncontrollably, I grabbed some bed sheets and put them around her arms, to stop the bleeding a little. She just stared at me with those lifeless eyes until my screaming started to cease and turned into sobbing. _

"_CeCe..." I managed to say between sobs. "Wh...Why?" _

_She just kept looking at me like that. "Rocky..." was all she could get out, so quiet I could barely hear it. That was the last time I saw her eyes open._

"_CECE! Please, CeCe, don't leave me! I love you so much! Please, be ok!" I shouted, hugging her still body. When I managed to think normally, I called an ambulance, then, her mother._

_Everyone arrived at the hospital at the same time. I could tell that CeCe's mother was just as scared and devastated as I was. Her makeup was running down her face from the tears, and I guessed that's how I looked as well. Flynn was there too, crying for his older sister as well._

_The doctors managed to keep her alive, but she was in some sort of coma. They let us enter her hospital room and it broke my heart to see her like that. I screamed for the second time and they had to take me out of the room. I was allowed again after a couple of hours._

It's already been two days and CeCe hasn't woken up. I can't give up on her. I know she has the strength to get better. She has to be ok. I know she'll most likely act different, but she has to. She needs to understand that she can tell me anything. I take her paler than usual hand in mine.

"CeCe, can you hear me? If you can, I want you to know that I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you as much as you needed. I'm sorry I didn't confess my feelings for you before all this. Yes, CeCe, I love you. I feel the same way that you do." I pause 'cause I feel more tears coming out. I try to go on, through sobs, still hoping she can hear me. "Please, CeCe, try to wake up. For me, for your family. We all love you so much, CeCe. Don't you ever feel like you're not important. You are important, to everyone who knows you! You're the best person I've ever met and I'm so proud to call you my best friend!" Now I'm crying uncontrollably once again, but I still try to go on. "Please, CeCe, wake up, and I'll help you get through everything. You won't have to hide anything from me anymore and we'll get through this together. Just, please, wake up! I need you and I love you so much!"

As I cry on her chest, I feel her hand squeeze mine. I look up to see her gorgeous brown eyes open again. She's not smiling. Instead, she has a neutral expression. I look at her through my tears as a big smile finds its way on my face.

"Did you mean it?" CeCe asks weakly and I feel like I'm going to explode of happiness at hearing her speak again.

"Yes, I meant everything." Instead of a reply, I get pulled down for a sweet, gentle, loving kiss.

_**A/N: So this is it. I might continue it in the future, but, for now, I'm leaving it as a oneshot.**_


End file.
